if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize