She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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