Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
