I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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