i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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