no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Damn victory sex feels great
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
