"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize