these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
