I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The feeling are messing with the penis
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
