you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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