i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
