I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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