Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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