atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
