I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
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How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
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All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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