this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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