Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Two words: blizzard sex
we're so committed to being not committed
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