In the future we'll all be gay
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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