i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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