I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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