I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
