He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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