we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
