i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.