i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work