Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He passed out mid-signature
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My feet surprised me
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