your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
