I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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