..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
