so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.