So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?