I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you