Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
