Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
