you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize