In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize