the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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