I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
