Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
