I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
