I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
