The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
