I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
