already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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