so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
smell my finger.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
