Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
They are going to name an STD after you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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