you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize