i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize