My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
