bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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