so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
