So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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