he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
