I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
