can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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