i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
