Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize