in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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