we made out on top of his cat.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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