where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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