they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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