would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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