My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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